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Friday, October 06, 2006


The other day my mother informed me that A will not nap now unless she is rocked. She followed that up by announcing that she had purchased another package of pacifiers, because she always lost the ones J would send with the girls. I had bitten my tongue before when my dad mentioned purchasing them, but this time I let her have it. Mom replied calmly that they could give up the pipe when they were potty-trained. What?!?!?!?

I told her that I had wanted to get rid of the pipes, as we so affectionately called them, at 1 year old, but had been coaxed by J into only letting them have it for bedtime and naptime. I reluctantly agreed and grimaced whenever I noticed that he or anyone else watching them would give them to the girls any other time. This morning, as soon as the girls were out of bed, I popped the pipes right out of their mouths, as I always do. I was met with a few angry cries, the loudest of which was coming from my husband. But quickly, the girls became preoccupied with something else and the only one left protesting was J.

It’s not that I have a big thing against babies/toddlers using pacifiers. I was in the beginning and was furious to discover that J had given our month old babies their first pacifier. But, as a mother of twins, I know all too well that sometimes you just need a break. A little distraction, a moment of peace, and you’ll do whatever you can to get that. Just a second of it. Whether it’s turning on Sesame Street or popping the pipe, I am guilty of it too. I just didn’t want my girls to develop the habit. I didn’t want them to become dependent on it. I didn’t want them to be three years old, in pre-school and walking around the mall with it in their mouths (a sight that I see quite often at our local mall.)

I’m quitting the bottles too, though that’s been much easier and I’m not quite as vigilant about the subject. I started the girls on sippy cups early and they took to the cups fairly easily. J recently wanted to buy more bottles as ours are a year old and beginning to leak. I nixed the idea. Now, the cups and the bottles are interchangeable for us and the girls really only get a bottle at bedtime and sometimes they don’t even get that. At my house. Elsewhere (Mother!!!) it’s another story. I’m sort of okay with this because they’re deriving nutrition from their bottles (and nothing from their pipes.) And a bottle isn’t a quick fix like the pipe is, for both toddler and caregiver. So this is a battle I’m only half-heartedly waging, because I see that victory is in sight.

Next, it’s potty-training. I’m starting at eighteen months, the age I was when I was potty-trained. They’re getting little potties for Christmas from Santa (shhh…don’t tell them) and it’s mostly so that they can get used to them and play with them while I’m in the bathroom. (Momma Bean in bathroom = door open = Beans in the bathroom.) I’m sure there will be inconsistencies there and that I will do battle with a couple of people, but I’m prepared.

I guess I don’t fight it too much because I know that it must be hard for them. The grandparents. They are doing such a tremendous favor for us by watching the girls while we’re at work and being such wonderful and doting grandparents. And because I’ve been told, under no uncertain terms, that they are grandparents and they will not be the disciplinarians that they were for their children and that they’re only responsibilities now are to love and spoil the girls. What more could I ask for?

This: if, by the time the girls are five years old, I’m still finding bottles and pipes lying around the houses, it’s ON!

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Blogger Becki said...

You are doing much better than I did because Scottie didn't stop taking the pacifer until he was two. I stopped it cold turkey on his birthday and for some reason, he didn't have a problem with it but the week before he did and it was only at night.
AND, the bottle in his second year, he was still getting one at night! My MIL was mostly to blame. She just couldn't give it up. He was the only grandchild at the time and she was heartbroken when he would cry for 10 minutes for a binky or a bottle.
I'm to blame too and you can bet, that with our next child, I will be more strict so props to you for setting your foot down!

Blogger Rants from a Bee said...

Ok, now I feel like an evil mother. Edson, the only one that cried for his bottle, would cry and cry (and it was a fake cry too, I could tell) and his dad would feel bad and I would just look at him and say "you're not getting a bottle, you can cry all you want. I'm more stubborn than you are so good luck fighting me". I'm evil.

I know it now.

I didn't let them have pacifiers either they did for like their first 2-3 months of life and then that was it I threw all the ones I could find away. Of course my mother had some hidden at her house which when they mysteriously appear, I mysteriously let them appear in the bottom of the trash can. You know what I realized worked? (nanny is a big pacifier fan too) I finally said one day in my oh so arrogant tone "wow, with me they never need a pacifier" that would anger them enough to try it once without a pacifier and lo and behold! They didn't need one! :) Now when the boys see one, they stare at it trying to remember in their little heads when they used one, they chew it once and then throw it on the floor.

You'll get there Momma Bean and you're brilliant for thinking of the potty training already!!!

What lucky little beans to have their grandparents take care of them! That is a huge blessing!

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