Wherein the doctor replied, "You're fat."

On Tuesday, I took the girls for their 12 month appointment. I knew that it was going to be a rough one, since they were to get four shots each, so I brought along Auntie K. to help me with the writhing, screaming beans that I knew would emerge from the sweet little things. Sure enough, as soon as A Squared was placed upon the scale, the hollering began. I was still in the waiting room with HRP, but when she heard her sister's wails, she dropped her Blue, clenched my arm fiercely and peered warily over my shoulder into the hallway where her sister was being tortured.

A measured in at 16 lbs. 8 oz. That is only five ounces more than she weighed at 9 months. She has now dropped from the 5th percentile to the 3rd. She was measured at 28 1/2 inches, but the doctor admitted that she was squirming and when I measured again later, she was 27 1/2 inches - 25th percentile - she was on pace. Her head circumference was in the 50th percentile, but that didn't surprise me at all, as I'm known for my incredibly large cranium. The shots were devastating, but even more so because our doctor has us place the girls on their backs on the examining table and hold their arms down as she administers the shots. What is so upsetting about this is that my little bean is staring right into my eyes during the whole procedure and I am watching her as her eyes widen in pain and the tears spring from her eyes. All she knows is that I am looking at her and holding her down while someone is injuring her and I am doing NOTHING about it. It's quite miserable.

Do any other doctors have this sort of procedure for your babies' immunization?

Next up was Her Royal Pieness. Already in a tizzy from listening to her sister, M began her sobbing immediately upon entry of the examination room. Her measurements: 17 lbs. 2 oz. (3%) and 28 1/2 in. (25%). And yes, yes, she has a big head too. She didn't fare as well with the shots as A did, which only means that she screamed even louder and longer.

After examining the girls and asking the standard questions, my doctor had only one concern - the girls' weights. I emphasized how much the girls loved food and ate a lot, in my opinion, and I informed her that we had begun feeding the girls whole milk. She peppered me with additional questions about their diet and instructed me to replace their juice/water combination with even more milk to add calories. Then she asked me what J looked like. At this point, I was unsure what she was getting at. I told her that he was about 6'1" 1/2 and had a slender to normal build.

"Ohhhh...that must be it," she said, nodding her head.

"You see, I may have been a little more concerned, but now it seems that they are just small children...they are taking after their father and have great metabolisms!"

Blink.

Um...

Insert awkward silence.

Where, I wanted to say, "Oh, thank God they don't have my metabolism! I mean, who'd want to be destined to resemble an overgrown Weeble Wobble?" or, "No, really. I do have a great metabolism too! I'm just short and you can't tell! If I was about six inches taller, I'd have a smoking body!" instead, I graciously responded with a smile, "Yes, they must have gotten that from their father."

That night, I pulled out my yoga DVD's. And...doing yoga with two toddlers clinging to you...well that's a story for another day.